The Ultimate Tadashi Is Here Story Of All Time
by Greensword101
Summary: Big Hero 6 has taken down Krei, or so they think, and the ultimate battle of good versus evil begins. Also, Wasabi is losing his mind from the craziness. Parody and mocking of typical fanfic plotline. Rated T for a sexual reference.


**Disclaimer:** This is a parody-crackfic of a very common BH6 fanfic cliché. Do not take it seriously. Just roll with the short chapters. Also, did Baymax call Callaghan 'Professor' even though he didn't have that title anymore? Well, then, Big Hero 6 belongs to Man of Action, Marvel Comics, and Walt Disney Pictures.

 **0-0**

The mask flew across the floor, right in front of Hiro. He grabbed it right as the figure turned around.

It wasn't Krei at all….of course…

"Ta-Tadashi…?" Hiro stared at his older brother, who stared at him before –

"LET'S BEAT HIM UP EVEN THOUGH WE SHOULD BE IN A SATE OF SHOCK AT THE MOMENT!" Fred shouted at the top of his lungs.

Wasabi and Gogo grabbed Fred before he could Super-Jump.

"How about we make sure Hiro doesn't get hurt?" Wasabi rolled his eyes and dragged Fred down the stairs.

Hiro looked at Tadashi. "Look, I don't know what's going on. But I am _not_ losing you again! Honey Lemon, restrain him in a chem-ball and let's get him outta –"

Tadashi lunged forward, snatching the mask out of Hiro's grip – _why didn't I put it on when I had the chance?!_ – and had the microbots close around them before rising towards the ceiling, shattering glass upon impact.

Everyone looked at the ceiling.

"Hey," Honey Lemon frowned, "I just realized something. Why didn't we attack Tadashi?"

Gogo opened her mouth to answer. "Because, Honey Lemon, we….uh…..I have no idea…"

"Yeah…" Fred nodded. "I could have super-jumped! Wasabi!"

He glared at Wasabi accusingly, who shrugged indifferently. That got him an elbow in the armored stomach.

"I could have broken the microbot tower." Baymax said. He held up one of his rocket fists. "My accuracy with firing has a success rate of 85% if the target is not moving."

"What about the other 15%?" Fred asked.

"It misses by three inches and comes back to strike someone behind me…."

"Why did I forget about my throwing discs?" Gogo looked at her weapons.

Wasabi looked at them funny. "Are you guys done _gawking?!_ We gotta follow them!"

Fred held up a hand. "Wait, dude. Just a few more seconds to let this scene sink in for the –"

"NOW!"

"Alright, alright!" Fred scurried over to Baymax, letting the girls climb on Baymax's back. "Killjoy…"

"My scanners indicate that they are: half a mile away from us."

"Then let's go, Baymax!" Gogo shouted as they blasted off.

 **0-0**

Hiro kicked Tadashi while they were in mid-air, getting dropped unceremoniously onto the ground of some dock he did not remember being on the island in the first place.

"You." Tadashi said.

"…yes?" Hiro asked tentatively.

"You look familiar; therefore, you must tell me everything about myself!" Tadashi declared with a fiery expression in his eyes.

"Look, I am trying to let this all sink in first and –" Hiro stopped and looked at him. "Wait, what?"

"You look familiar." Tadashi repeated. "So, by that logic, that must mean you know something about me."

"Well, I do…" Hiro began, "but…that's not a whole lot to go by."

"I know, better than nothing. So, I kidnapped you in order to ask you questions while the pain of death looms over your head – literally, these microbots are forming a fist and –"

"Yeah, yeah, I can see tha –" Hiro's eyes widened as he processed the earlier piece of information. "DUDE! Why didn't you just ask me on the island?! It wasn't like we were just going to run off without you or anything! I even said I didn't want to lose you again!"

Tadashi started. "Because, I –"

His mouth stayed open, a fly briefly buzzed in and out of it, but Tadashi didn't make another sound.

"DID YOU JUST KIDNAP ME FOR NOTHING?!" Hiro grabbed ahold of Tadashi's jacket and pulled him close. _Please don't kiss me, please don't kiss me, please don't kiss me!_ Hiro was ready to push his brother away if that random action came to him.

 _Please don't kiss me, please dear God, don't let this kid kiss me!_ Tadashi thought. _He's young, and I have the feeling that I would regret it later!_

"HIRO!"

Hiro looked up at the sky and beamed. The team had made it.

"How did you survive the fire?" Gogo asked Tadashi.

"Why were you attacking us?" Honey Lemon stared.

"Why did you kidnap Hiro?!" Wasabi demanded.

"Has being evil increased your sex life?" Fred asked.

Everyone stared at him. Fred shrugged. "Apparently, being young and evil increases your chances with the ladies."

"What about the ladies?" Gogo crossed her arms.

"They all eventually die because they were dumb enough to think that a bad guy was okay to try to sleep with." Fred sighed dreamily.

"YOKAI! WHAT'S TAKING SO LONG?!" A voice from the distance shouted.

"Yokai?" Wasabi stared.

"He tried to tell me my name was Yokai…" Tadashi rubbed the back of his neck.

Everyone stared. Fred finally spoke up.

"What."

"I know, I mean, why would my name be _Ghost_ , it wasn't like I forgot how to speak Japanese or had a small brain."

"Uh-huh." Gogo said briskly. Just then, another figure came lurking by the waters, his figure in full view. Hiro turned to Baymax and started ramming his head against the carbon-plated armor.

"I suggest not doing this, as continuous blows to the head may result in a: concussion." Baymax said as he placed both hands on Hiro's shoulders, repeating the action when Hiro shrugged them off.

Hiro continued ramming his head against the armor, his voice bland and exhausted. "That's the point, Baymax."

"Hey, look, Callaghan's okay!" Honey Lemon pointed towards the ocean where their former professor appeared on a bed of microbots. "We should be in shock and not question where he got the time to make that second nerutransmitter without blueprints."

"Yokai, what is taking so long – what are you all doing here?" Callaghan directed his glare from Tadashi towards the team, his jaw dropping.

"He's still trying to convince me that's my real name." Tadashi pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes while doing so. "Unbelievable…"

"HA!" Hiro turned towards Tadashi, his helmet dented – he had forgotten all about it while trying to give himself a concussion – and a large grin on his face. "You _do_ remember something about yourself! You used to say 'unbelievable' all the time when you got frustrated."

"Did I?" Tadashi raised an eyebrow. Then, he shrugged. "Don't most people say something like that when they're frustrated?"

Hiro started sputtering. "But, but, but, your memories! You were hit on the head, Baymax said –"

"If I were hit on the head, I wouldn't have amnesia in the first place!" Tadashi snapped. "I'd have to go to a hospital, you idiot!"

"Says the guy who ran into a burning building…" Hiro growled under his breath.

"What was that?"

"I said 'says the guy who ran into a burning building'!" Hiro shouted.

"Why is everyone ignoring me?" Callaghan waved a hand in front of Honey Lemon's face, who didn't even blink. "I'm the bad guy here! I kidnapped Tadashi and had to sell myself on the street to make sure we were both fed because I never realized my bank account would freeze after I faked my death…you have _no_ idea how many condoms I've had to use for myself."

"You took it up the ass?"

"No!" Callaghan's face went red at Fred's question.

"You blew someone?"

"NO!"

"But you said –"

"Apparently, I was pretty enough for ladies only…"

"Oh…" Fred said. "…so did _they_ take it up the ass?"

"FRED!"

"I'm just wondering, he said he 'sold himself', so that would imply inappropriate things and –"

"Just shut up and fight me while Krei is unveiling his new building!" Callaghan snapped, walking over to Tadashi and trying to pull him away from everyone else.

"WHY?!" Hiro yelled.

"Because someone's too lazy to have our final showdown take place somewhere different even through there is a change in the universe."

"What change?" Wasabi looked at everyone. "What universe?!"

"So, until we meet again, as the cliché line goe – urk!" Callaghan's head rolled across the floor while everyone looked at Wasabi.

"What?" Wasabi shrugged as he deactivated his plasma blades. "It was either that, or we angst for a long period of time instead of getting the whole thing over with."

"Did terminating Professor–"

" _Former_ Professor!" Gogo corrected.

Baymax blinked before continuing. "Did terminating _former_ Professor Callaghan improve your emotional state?"

"Yeah, it did. Because letting Hiro try to stop him when he had no real equipment to fight with would be kind of idiotic." Wasabi looked at amnesia!Tadashi, who was sighing in relief. "See, even Tadashi agrees and he can't remember much else. Now let's forget this whole thing ever happened, bring Tadashi back from the dead legally, and celebrate with hot wings."

"WiiIIIIIIiiiiiNnNNnGSSS!" Baymax's voice altered between several pitches as he cried out in voctory.

"Does this automatically mean you love me?" Hiro smiled at Tadashi hopefully.

Tadashi scowled. "I don't remember you! So no! Ask me again when I remember something!"

End

 **0-0**

If things had gone as Callaghan had – somehow – hoped….

Hiro was whimping – not fighting, whimping – against Tadashi. "Your name's Tadashi!"

"You said that." Tadashi growled impatiently as he fake-punched him. Hiro still somehow got hit and reeled over in pain.

"We live with our Aunt Cass, you hate that I Bot-fight, you used to sleep with Mr. Fluffy Ram!" Hiro tried again as a stream of microbots wrapped around his mouth, trying to block out the sound.

"Please shut up and I'll leave with you guys. That old man's been driving me crazy with all his 'Yokai' this and 'Yokai' that!"

"HIRO, STOP ACTING LIKE THE POWER OF LOVE WILL MAKE HIM REMEMBER AND TAKE THAT MASK OFF FIRST, YOU IDIOT!" Wasabi screamed as he chopped off Callaghan's head off.

Tadashi was so surprised by the outburst that he forgot to concentrate on the microbots. Hiro used that opportunity to grab the mask and destroy it. Tadashi looked at him funny.

"What platform did you think we were standing on, you idiot?!"

Hiro looked down and saw the microbot platform they were on was falling apart. "Oops…."

They both fell screaming in high-pitched voices and somehow survived with many broken bones and a tonsil removal needed.

And still somehow rescued Abigail from the portal that was opened.

And then celebrated with hot wings and snuggles – that did not lead to kissing, much to Hiro and Tadashi's mutual relief – before Aunt Cass screamed at everyone for doing something that dangerous and expecting her _not_ to watch the news or recognize them underneath their helmets before grounding everyone, even if they didn't live under her roof.

The Actual End.

 **0-0**

 **Author's Note:** I repeat, this is a parody of a fandom plotline I have a guilty pleasure of, but know it needs a lot of work. Seriously, the Power of Love snapping Tadashi out of amnesia and or/brainwashing?! And NO HIDASHI! EVER!

Any readers want to be my beta reader? Please?!


End file.
